Isn't it funny how our brains, generally so superbly capable, can get things so surprisingly wrong?
I was talking with a friend about dreams yesterday. Sometimes I wake up from dreams so vivid I struggle to distinguish what is reality. I have gone to work grumpy with a colleague who offended me in a dream, and who then had to suffer me being cross with him...on account of something that had happened in my subconscious.
A week or two ago I was out for a run (well, OK, a wheezy shuffle), and I saw my friend Sarah run past the end of the street I was approaching. I decided to catch her up and run with her awhile. Off I galumphed. I saw her glance back and pick up the pace. Hmph I thought. So I picked up my own pace. Soon I was thundering down the street, but she just kept running faster and faster. Eventually my resolve faltered so I let her go, puffing and wheezing I watched her long pony tail swinging off into the distance. Then my brain caught up and reminded me that Sarah has short hair. I don't know who I'd been chasing, but the poor lady must have been scared half to death.
Similarly, my unreliable grey matter has led me to believe absolute truths, and defend them vehemently to others, which are entirely imagined.
I believed for years that moose were bovine. Big cows. Then one day, in my thirties, years of misconceptions came tumbling down with a quick google search. Cervine. Big deer. Seriously? Next they will be telling me that hippos aren't giant pigs.
Sarah (she who lacks a pony-tail), calls it Turnbull Logic. I am glad to have a term for it. For me it started young. Mishearing my father, I came to the unshakable belief that his horse was a "Power Board horse". Dad had actually said he was piebald (the horse was actually skewbald, but that is not important right now), but not knowing what that meant, my resourceful little brain filled in the gaps with something more familiar. When inquiring adults wondered why on earth the Power Board would have need for a horse, I thought nothing of it, why wouldn't they need one?
So the moral is that it doesn't hurt to stop and check the information that comes pouring out of our brains from time to time, just in case a little bit of misinformation has clouded the water a little bit.
So until next time, make sure you heat that teapot before you brew the tea.
love
Ironmaiden
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Weapons of mass procrastination
It's amazing how good we get at procrastinating. People keep asking me what I am doing with all my spare time since I finished my Ironman training. I have no answer, so I've been trying to figure out why not. My conclusion? I have traded triathlon for procrastination. Is my house tidier? Is my life in order? Is my bike clean? Am I training for the half-ironman I have entered at the end of the year? Nope, nope, nope, and sadly, nope.
I never used to be much of a procrastinator, but lately I have become quite the champ. I couldn't compete in the Olympic procrastination competition because I am on procrastination steroids. And so many weapons to augment my skill have been coming my way lately:
- The pool ceiling collapsed. Can't go swimming, far too much of a hardship to swim in an outdoor pool....
- It's winter! I can't go outside! Its all frosty and cold and dark and smokey!
- I have a kindle. Glorious. Last seen double zip-locked and completely revolutionising hotpooling.
- White Cat is asleep in my lap. If I get up and disturb her she'll bite me!
- I'm lazy. Oh no wait...scratch that...I'm in denial (that's more like it!)
- I'm so busy procrastinating!
But it won't be winter forever. One day White Cat will go sleep in her specially heated fleecy pet bed. I will exhaust my kindle library. The pool will get repaired (well...may be - unless it disappears into a massive subterranean tomo). So it is time to try and rediscover my good habits. Like vacuuming. And eating vegetables.
But before I start, I am pondering this: If your body is so embarrassing, why on earth would you want to get naked and go on international television? But enough procrastinating, I'm going to get that vacuum cleaner. As soon as I dislodge this cat...
Till next time, do what makes you happy.
love
Ironmaiden
I never used to be much of a procrastinator, but lately I have become quite the champ. I couldn't compete in the Olympic procrastination competition because I am on procrastination steroids. And so many weapons to augment my skill have been coming my way lately:
- The pool ceiling collapsed. Can't go swimming, far too much of a hardship to swim in an outdoor pool....
- It's winter! I can't go outside! Its all frosty and cold and dark and smokey!
- I have a kindle. Glorious. Last seen double zip-locked and completely revolutionising hotpooling.
- White Cat is asleep in my lap. If I get up and disturb her she'll bite me!
- I'm lazy. Oh no wait...scratch that...I'm in denial (that's more like it!)
- I'm so busy procrastinating!
But it won't be winter forever. One day White Cat will go sleep in her specially heated fleecy pet bed. I will exhaust my kindle library. The pool will get repaired (well...may be - unless it disappears into a massive subterranean tomo). So it is time to try and rediscover my good habits. Like vacuuming. And eating vegetables.
But before I start, I am pondering this: If your body is so embarrassing, why on earth would you want to get naked and go on international television? But enough procrastinating, I'm going to get that vacuum cleaner. As soon as I dislodge this cat...
Till next time, do what makes you happy.
love
Ironmaiden
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Selective Memory or Evolved Optimism?
Hello Everyone
I was going to wait until I had normal (well, normal by my standards) toenails before reviving the Ironmaiden saga, but it turns out it takes much longer for black toenails to turn pink than it does for pink toenails to turn black. And as for regrowing the stubborn little suckers that fall off altogether...
Anyway, it got me thinking about how our memories take such a sunny view of things. I look back on Ironman and remember a wonderful exciting day that I thoroughly enjoyed and entirely intend to repeat someday. And yet a quick glance at my feet suggests I might not be quite recalling the "full" experience.
We all look back on our long, endlessly sunny childhood summers and wonder why summertime is never as enjoyable anymore. The weather is never as nice, the season is shorter, it just isn't as good as it was. But think about it objectively - it might have been many years ago, but it was still New Zealand. Contrary to our golden memories, it did rain sometimes. We did get sunburnt. We got stung by wasps. And bees. And jellyfish. We stubbed our big toe. It bled. We stubbed our other big toe. We broke our big toe. We broke other toes. Yet, when we reflect, we just remember the good bits. We possible overstate the good bits.
So why do we do this? Why after nine weeks are we forgiving the source of the toenail trauma and already contemplating the next pedicular assault? I wonder if it is to do with evolution. After all, surely, if faced with a choice, a sane woman wouldn't go through childbirth a second time? They say that afterwards it is all worthwhile (well, perhaps after the first 3 months... or 6 or 30 months... have been survived), but seriously? The physical logistics would suggest it is not something you'd be rushing straight back into without some serious questioning of your sanity. But I've met numerous sane and intelligent women who've gone through the process more than once. Even more than twice. And survival of the species has been dependant on women being prepared to go through it twice. Or more. Ouch.
So, my feet are back in service, and new adventures are to come.
Until next time, remember to turn the hall light on so that you don't trip over the same cat twice.
love
Ironmaiden
I was going to wait until I had normal (well, normal by my standards) toenails before reviving the Ironmaiden saga, but it turns out it takes much longer for black toenails to turn pink than it does for pink toenails to turn black. And as for regrowing the stubborn little suckers that fall off altogether...
Anyway, it got me thinking about how our memories take such a sunny view of things. I look back on Ironman and remember a wonderful exciting day that I thoroughly enjoyed and entirely intend to repeat someday. And yet a quick glance at my feet suggests I might not be quite recalling the "full" experience.
We all look back on our long, endlessly sunny childhood summers and wonder why summertime is never as enjoyable anymore. The weather is never as nice, the season is shorter, it just isn't as good as it was. But think about it objectively - it might have been many years ago, but it was still New Zealand. Contrary to our golden memories, it did rain sometimes. We did get sunburnt. We got stung by wasps. And bees. And jellyfish. We stubbed our big toe. It bled. We stubbed our other big toe. We broke our big toe. We broke other toes. Yet, when we reflect, we just remember the good bits. We possible overstate the good bits.
So why do we do this? Why after nine weeks are we forgiving the source of the toenail trauma and already contemplating the next pedicular assault? I wonder if it is to do with evolution. After all, surely, if faced with a choice, a sane woman wouldn't go through childbirth a second time? They say that afterwards it is all worthwhile (well, perhaps after the first 3 months... or 6 or 30 months... have been survived), but seriously? The physical logistics would suggest it is not something you'd be rushing straight back into without some serious questioning of your sanity. But I've met numerous sane and intelligent women who've gone through the process more than once. Even more than twice. And survival of the species has been dependant on women being prepared to go through it twice. Or more. Ouch.
So, my feet are back in service, and new adventures are to come.
Until next time, remember to turn the hall light on so that you don't trip over the same cat twice.
love
Ironmaiden
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Ironmatron!
Well, I knocked the bugger off! Admittedly, it turned out I am not quite as good at long distance triathlon as I might have once thought, and it also turns out that Ironman is quite hard. But I finished, and thoroughly got my money's worth on the way, only wasting 29 minutes of the allocated 17 hours by finishing a bit early.
Port Macquarie is an awesome spot, with lots of pelicans and nice Aussies and camels. The beaches are beautiful, the rainforest lush and the views scenic.
I was a bit nervous before the swim start, but to be honest not the quivering wreck I thought I might be. The biggest surprise was just how cold it was, so took advantage of the transition tent to put my wetsuit on a little early. Once encased in neoprene I was toasty. After my Taupo Half experience in December, when I had to shed my skin like a snake, I did remember to lather on the sunblock before hand. It is a strange thing to be doing on a chilly morning in total darkness.
I tootled along to the swim start felt more relaxed as I went through my race plan and watched the other competitors around me. I met John from the New Zealand Army - like me he had won a free entry to Taupo and then had to find and alternative race once Taupo was cancelled. It was good to have a bit of company while we waited to be given access to the start gantry so that we could get in the water.
The swim start was a total scrum. I loved it. We were so busy crawling over one another and dodging past that we were halfway to the first turnaround before we even noticed we were swimming. There was quite a strong upstream push from the tide which helped too. This was my first real appreciation for how valuable a bit of good old fashioned distraction would be.
My wetsuit chafed my neck raw, but I didn't even notice, because I was distracted. I am noticing now, but that is why they invented Bepanthen. Swim time: 1:27:49.
I strolled through the showers, taking the opportunity to rinse the salt off my tonsils (yes, my tonsils), then into Transition. I got changed, chatted to the volunteers who were also Ironmatrons (respect) in their own right, then went and found my beautiful bike. As I left transition I must have crossed a timing mat, because the commentator announced my name, and then said "and we won't ask who she is and we won't sing the song". I was very relieved. I have heard the song before. T1 time: 0:7:26
I loved the bike ride. It was beautiful. I really enjoyed progressing through the small coastal towns, the people were out on their lawns enjoying the race and generally being friendly and supportive. I didn't get my usual discomfort (agonising pain in all sorts of unmentionable body parts) on the bike, because I was distracted by the amazing scenery and the great crowd. Terrific. I got patted on the bum climbing a hill. You expect a bit of bum groping in the swim, but it was a new experience for me on the ride. I am 70% sure it was just a fellow competitor giving me some friendly encouragement, and 30% sure it was a dodgy bloke copping a feel. You can never be too sure with Aussies.
The steep steep Mathew Flinders pirate hill didn't disappoint. I stuck with my strategy of hopping off and walking up, and the crowd assured me many others had done the same thing. The organisers clearly anticipated this strategy, and had laid a strip of carpet up the road to make it easy totter up on our cycling cleats. I know of several people who were more heroic than me and biked almost to the top, only to get cramp and fall. Their race was over. But mine continued. Bike time: 7:57:30.
It was great to be out running, I no longer had to worry about punctures or unrecoverable mechanical issues, it was now just me and my feet. T2 time: 0:6:15
Initially had a bit of trouble settling to a sustainable pace. There were still loads of people on the course, the crowd was fresh and excitable, and I felt great. And then a wall came along and hit me in the face. To add injury to insult my felt swelled like wee puffer fish and blisters quickly arrived on my soles. I still had over 30ks to go, so I revised my strategy, , decided walking was more tolerable for my feet than running, figured out a pace I could sustain and went for it. I ended up doing a bit of a Tour de Portaloo as I didn't really adjust my hydration to accommodate the temperature drop as the sun went down. The moon came to the party though and helped with distracting me as I marched on through the night. Apparently it was the closest it has been to Earth for the last 18 years.
I had put my oldest grottiest polypro top in my run special needs bag thinking I probably wouldn't need it and it would be binned with the rest of the unwanted special needs stuff. Of course, I DID need it, so in my finish line photos I look a bit like a homeless person, or possibly someone who has escaped from an institution. And to be honest I felt a bit that way!
Walking up the finish chute was quite a surreal experience. The crowd were pretty hyped for the last 30 minutes of the race, and they really worked themselves into a frenzy. I was very pleased to see them all. Run time: 6:53:39
I didn't do so well once I stopped. I sat in the recovery area for a while, and then apparently went green and white. They bundled me in a foil blanket and monitored my blood pressure. I politely declined a saline drip, opting instead for about three cups of hot sweet tea which were incredibly restorative (I love tea).
Afterwards, my feet looked like this:
Damn! Now that is ugly. But they will heal. And now I am an Ironman. My total time was 16:32:39. My overall place was 1284th. Out of more than 1400. I don't know what happened to everybody else!
So that is the end of the Ironmaiden journey. I've enjoyed sharing it with you all and have been so lucky to have so much support from so many kind people. Now I think I will sit back for a day or two and watch my toenails fall like autumn leaves. And then I will start planning my next big adventure!
Until we meet again, never say never, as the universe will prove you wrong!
love
Ironmatron
Port Macquarie is an awesome spot, with lots of pelicans and nice Aussies and camels. The beaches are beautiful, the rainforest lush and the views scenic.
I was a bit nervous before the swim start, but to be honest not the quivering wreck I thought I might be. The biggest surprise was just how cold it was, so took advantage of the transition tent to put my wetsuit on a little early. Once encased in neoprene I was toasty. After my Taupo Half experience in December, when I had to shed my skin like a snake, I did remember to lather on the sunblock before hand. It is a strange thing to be doing on a chilly morning in total darkness.
I tootled along to the swim start felt more relaxed as I went through my race plan and watched the other competitors around me. I met John from the New Zealand Army - like me he had won a free entry to Taupo and then had to find and alternative race once Taupo was cancelled. It was good to have a bit of company while we waited to be given access to the start gantry so that we could get in the water.
The swim start was a total scrum. I loved it. We were so busy crawling over one another and dodging past that we were halfway to the first turnaround before we even noticed we were swimming. There was quite a strong upstream push from the tide which helped too. This was my first real appreciation for how valuable a bit of good old fashioned distraction would be.
My wetsuit chafed my neck raw, but I didn't even notice, because I was distracted. I am noticing now, but that is why they invented Bepanthen. Swim time: 1:27:49.
I strolled through the showers, taking the opportunity to rinse the salt off my tonsils (yes, my tonsils), then into Transition. I got changed, chatted to the volunteers who were also Ironmatrons (respect) in their own right, then went and found my beautiful bike. As I left transition I must have crossed a timing mat, because the commentator announced my name, and then said "and we won't ask who she is and we won't sing the song". I was very relieved. I have heard the song before. T1 time: 0:7:26
I loved the bike ride. It was beautiful. I really enjoyed progressing through the small coastal towns, the people were out on their lawns enjoying the race and generally being friendly and supportive. I didn't get my usual discomfort (agonising pain in all sorts of unmentionable body parts) on the bike, because I was distracted by the amazing scenery and the great crowd. Terrific. I got patted on the bum climbing a hill. You expect a bit of bum groping in the swim, but it was a new experience for me on the ride. I am 70% sure it was just a fellow competitor giving me some friendly encouragement, and 30% sure it was a dodgy bloke copping a feel. You can never be too sure with Aussies.
The steep steep Mathew Flinders pirate hill didn't disappoint. I stuck with my strategy of hopping off and walking up, and the crowd assured me many others had done the same thing. The organisers clearly anticipated this strategy, and had laid a strip of carpet up the road to make it easy totter up on our cycling cleats. I know of several people who were more heroic than me and biked almost to the top, only to get cramp and fall. Their race was over. But mine continued. Bike time: 7:57:30.
It was great to be out running, I no longer had to worry about punctures or unrecoverable mechanical issues, it was now just me and my feet. T2 time: 0:6:15
Initially had a bit of trouble settling to a sustainable pace. There were still loads of people on the course, the crowd was fresh and excitable, and I felt great. And then a wall came along and hit me in the face. To add injury to insult my felt swelled like wee puffer fish and blisters quickly arrived on my soles. I still had over 30ks to go, so I revised my strategy, , decided walking was more tolerable for my feet than running, figured out a pace I could sustain and went for it. I ended up doing a bit of a Tour de Portaloo as I didn't really adjust my hydration to accommodate the temperature drop as the sun went down. The moon came to the party though and helped with distracting me as I marched on through the night. Apparently it was the closest it has been to Earth for the last 18 years.
I had put my oldest grottiest polypro top in my run special needs bag thinking I probably wouldn't need it and it would be binned with the rest of the unwanted special needs stuff. Of course, I DID need it, so in my finish line photos I look a bit like a homeless person, or possibly someone who has escaped from an institution. And to be honest I felt a bit that way!
Walking up the finish chute was quite a surreal experience. The crowd were pretty hyped for the last 30 minutes of the race, and they really worked themselves into a frenzy. I was very pleased to see them all. Run time: 6:53:39
I didn't do so well once I stopped. I sat in the recovery area for a while, and then apparently went green and white. They bundled me in a foil blanket and monitored my blood pressure. I politely declined a saline drip, opting instead for about three cups of hot sweet tea which were incredibly restorative (I love tea).
Afterwards, my feet looked like this:
Damn! Now that is ugly. But they will heal. And now I am an Ironman. My total time was 16:32:39. My overall place was 1284th. Out of more than 1400. I don't know what happened to everybody else!
So that is the end of the Ironmaiden journey. I've enjoyed sharing it with you all and have been so lucky to have so much support from so many kind people. Now I think I will sit back for a day or two and watch my toenails fall like autumn leaves. And then I will start planning my next big adventure!
Until we meet again, never say never, as the universe will prove you wrong!
love
Ironmatron
Monday, May 7, 2012
Two days to go...
Hello everyone!
Here I am in sunny Port Macquarie. It is a spectacularly beautiful place, and I have to save after a few pre-race jitters yesterday after I registered (Ok, I was a nervous wreck and sent more than one hysterical email ) today I am feeling calm and am thoroughly looking forward to getting out there on Sunday and having a lash. To be fair, I expect to ride the emotional roller-coaster a few more times between now and then though.
I drove the bike course yesterday, it is very scenic with a few rolling hills and flat bits, plus one spectacularly steep, but mercifully short, climb up the ominously named “Mathew Flinders Drive”. I say ominous because I always thought Mathew Flinders was some notorious convict (like Ned Kelly but less loveable) but it turns out he was a famous navigator whom the Australians are very proud of. Unfortunately the idea has lodged in my brain and I am having a bit of trouble shaking it out. Similarly, I lived over half my lif believing that moose were giant cows. They aren't. They are giant deer.
I had a bit of a swim on the course yesterday. The water is warm, brown and shallow. No complaints from me. I am happy not having to contemplate starting the day with an ice-cream headache and numb particulars.
The weather forecast is looking promising, I'd say there is very little chance of lightening striking twice and this race getting cancelled/postponed/shortened/hijacked by Somalian pirates.
So I feel like everything is coming together. We have the welcome dinner and race briefing tonight, then tomorrow I will deliver my bike and put my feet up, and then all that will remain will be to pop out on Sunday and swim 3.8 ks, bike 180ks, and run a marathon. How hard can that be right?
See you on the other side,
love
Ironmaiden
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Advance to Australia Fair...
Hello Everyone
I went for a swim in the lake yesterday. It was pure madness. Cold. Rough. Stirred up. I crashed and bashed around for 18 minutes. And then I got out.
Today I packed my bike. No. I watched while it was packed for me. My spatial perception couldn't have managed that feat without prior education. I just hope I am going to be able to unpack it and put it all back together. In an appropriate arrangement, not just my usual "anything goes" type of approach.
I am starting to get everything washed and dried and ready to go. I have washed and scrubbed the soles of my running shoes and my cycling shoes. I also washed and scrubbed my beautiful bike before it went all Transformer and tucked itself into a tardis disguised as a cardboard box. I hope the Aussies are nice to me and don't demand too much unpacking in Customs.
I don't feel fit. I feel sleepy and low. But I think I don't have any benchmarks - prior to March 3rd I had been doing lots of events, but I haven't done any since, so I really feel like I am taking a leap into the unknown. And by unknown I don't just mean New South Wales (can you get Marmite there?).
OK, well, this will be my last post from Aotearoa. Next stop West Island via Vegas (that's RotoVegas obviously).
Until next time, remain open minded about going commando.
love
Ironmaiden
I went for a swim in the lake yesterday. It was pure madness. Cold. Rough. Stirred up. I crashed and bashed around for 18 minutes. And then I got out.
Today I packed my bike. No. I watched while it was packed for me. My spatial perception couldn't have managed that feat without prior education. I just hope I am going to be able to unpack it and put it all back together. In an appropriate arrangement, not just my usual "anything goes" type of approach.
I am starting to get everything washed and dried and ready to go. I have washed and scrubbed the soles of my running shoes and my cycling shoes. I also washed and scrubbed my beautiful bike before it went all Transformer and tucked itself into a tardis disguised as a cardboard box. I hope the Aussies are nice to me and don't demand too much unpacking in Customs.
I don't feel fit. I feel sleepy and low. But I think I don't have any benchmarks - prior to March 3rd I had been doing lots of events, but I haven't done any since, so I really feel like I am taking a leap into the unknown. And by unknown I don't just mean New South Wales (can you get Marmite there?).
OK, well, this will be my last post from Aotearoa. Next stop West Island via Vegas (that's RotoVegas obviously).
Until next time, remain open minded about going commando.
love
Ironmaiden
Friday, April 20, 2012
Reality Check
Far out! Time goes fast. It is now only eleven sleeps until I go to Australia to knock the bastard off. Not Australia I mean, just the Australian Ironman. I'll leave Australia just as I found it. Well mostly anyway. I'll try not to cause too much carnage.
It doesn't seem that real. I have been trying to get prepared - I have bought flights, got accommodation, figured out how to get from Sydney to Port Macquarie. Figured out how to get to Sydney. I have some of those odd Australian dollars. I even got travel insurance. I also got travel insurance for my beautiful bike. My beautiful bike cost more to insure than I did. The travel insurance people value me less than a low-mid range carbon fibre endurance geometry bicycle. It doesn't even have an engine. I wonder what they know that I don't know yet?
But I have so many questions! Will there be cane toads all over the road? What happens if you hit a cane toad on a low-mid range carbon fibre endurance geometry bicycle? Will there be sharks and crocodiles? Will there be snakes? Do they all cancel each other out? I mean, the sharks will be busy fighting the crocodiles and the toads will be fighting the snakes and I can slip by unnoticed? What if they hear me wheezy shuffling? Should I have developed stealth-mode? How do you wheeze stealthily?
Are there hills? Are there hills anywhere in Australia? Will the water be cold? Will it be warm? Will the Australians be mean to me because I am not a freakish over achiever?
Great. Well, the t-11th sleep promises to be a restful one....
Till next week, don't worry about things you can't change or influence!
love
Ironmaiden
It doesn't seem that real. I have been trying to get prepared - I have bought flights, got accommodation, figured out how to get from Sydney to Port Macquarie. Figured out how to get to Sydney. I have some of those odd Australian dollars. I even got travel insurance. I also got travel insurance for my beautiful bike. My beautiful bike cost more to insure than I did. The travel insurance people value me less than a low-mid range carbon fibre endurance geometry bicycle. It doesn't even have an engine. I wonder what they know that I don't know yet?
But I have so many questions! Will there be cane toads all over the road? What happens if you hit a cane toad on a low-mid range carbon fibre endurance geometry bicycle? Will there be sharks and crocodiles? Will there be snakes? Do they all cancel each other out? I mean, the sharks will be busy fighting the crocodiles and the toads will be fighting the snakes and I can slip by unnoticed? What if they hear me wheezy shuffling? Should I have developed stealth-mode? How do you wheeze stealthily?
Are there hills? Are there hills anywhere in Australia? Will the water be cold? Will it be warm? Will the Australians be mean to me because I am not a freakish over achiever?
Great. Well, the t-11th sleep promises to be a restful one....
Till next week, don't worry about things you can't change or influence!
love
Ironmaiden
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Dogs and shoes...
What is it with shoes? I keep spotting shoes in weird places. Always a single shoe, on its own. I see them out cycling, in the grassy verge MILES from any driveways or houses. I see them on the bottom of the lake - out really deep, just one shoe on its own, then further own, a completely different shoe, all on its own.
Are these shoes getting their by their own free will? Are shoes by nature solitary characters? When we force them to hang out in pairs are we actually damaging their delicate sensibilities? Or, and I must admit, this seems a bit more likely, are the shoes there because they have been put there by people? If this is the case, who does that? Who tosses a shoe (just one!) out the car window, or over the side of the boat? If you do, what do you then do with the other shoe? Who has a use for just one shoe? Well, apart from one-legged people. Is there a strong correlation between being one-legged and having a tendency to litter? With footwear?
I got chased by a dog the other night. It wasn't too serious, I was shuffling by wheezily, and it was inside a fence. I was a little perturbed to here its owner call it off, saying "Leave her alone, she ain't got no wallet".
OK, well until next week, make sure you don't have any wallet-sized bulges in your running shorts, it will protect you from dogs!
love
Ironmaiden
Are these shoes getting their by their own free will? Are shoes by nature solitary characters? When we force them to hang out in pairs are we actually damaging their delicate sensibilities? Or, and I must admit, this seems a bit more likely, are the shoes there because they have been put there by people? If this is the case, who does that? Who tosses a shoe (just one!) out the car window, or over the side of the boat? If you do, what do you then do with the other shoe? Who has a use for just one shoe? Well, apart from one-legged people. Is there a strong correlation between being one-legged and having a tendency to litter? With footwear?
I got chased by a dog the other night. It wasn't too serious, I was shuffling by wheezily, and it was inside a fence. I was a little perturbed to here its owner call it off, saying "Leave her alone, she ain't got no wallet".
OK, well until next week, make sure you don't have any wallet-sized bulges in your running shorts, it will protect you from dogs!
love
Ironmaiden
Monday, April 2, 2012
You think I'm mad?
Well, you are right, I am sure I am. But not as mad as three blokes I met out riding on Saturday. They had just finished the Rotorua-Taupo 100km flyer, and were riding home. To Tauranga. Having ridden to the start line. For a warm up. Yeaup. Cos how hard can that be? No wonder they snuck up behind me and sat in my draft for a few kms. When I discovered them there and accused them they said "Don't worry about the slow pace, any drafting is good after the distance we've done so far"...hmph... fairly thinly veiled insult there fellas...not to mention the unsaid comment on my ability to separate a head wind. You know why. And I am good at it, but I don't like to be reminded of the underlying reason.
Additionally after all my efforts to plaster a dogged (if false) smile across my countenance when on long runs, a friend who saw me yesterday reports that I definitely have the Orc-look back in style. Apparently I looked to be hating it. I wasn't, but I was negotiating a footpath deep in high-speed waterskiiers, dogs, small children, bikes and bogans. So chances are it was just my "concentrating and slightly concerned" face.
It is now less than five weeks until Ironman. I have a strange sense of de ja vue. Like I've been here before. I officially entered IM Australia tonight - money paid, emergency contact details provided. My flights are booked and paid for (because why wouldn't I go to a whole different country to do a race I could do in my home town?). All that remains is accommodation, transport, and figuring out how on earth to travel with my favourite hunk of carbon fibre. How hard can it be?
Until next week, tie me kangaroo down, sport,
love
Ironmaiden
Additionally after all my efforts to plaster a dogged (if false) smile across my countenance when on long runs, a friend who saw me yesterday reports that I definitely have the Orc-look back in style. Apparently I looked to be hating it. I wasn't, but I was negotiating a footpath deep in high-speed waterskiiers, dogs, small children, bikes and bogans. So chances are it was just my "concentrating and slightly concerned" face.
It is now less than five weeks until Ironman. I have a strange sense of de ja vue. Like I've been here before. I officially entered IM Australia tonight - money paid, emergency contact details provided. My flights are booked and paid for (because why wouldn't I go to a whole different country to do a race I could do in my home town?). All that remains is accommodation, transport, and figuring out how on earth to travel with my favourite hunk of carbon fibre. How hard can it be?
Until next week, tie me kangaroo down, sport,
love
Ironmaiden
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Phwoah...getting back on the wagon is a wee bit hard.
Well, I am still on the edge of my seat waiting for confirmation that I have got a spot at Port Macquaire. I think I have, but until I have signed on the bottom line (and parted with a decent chunk of change) I won't feel confident enough to book flights.
In the meantime, I've been trying to get back into training, but I've fallen off the wagon a little bit so I feel like I am trying to catch back up to the stupid wagon. I spent Saturday traipsing round the town following a green dinosaur, Susan Boyle, God, Jesus, assorted devils, four pirates and a handful of sailors. So that counts as training right? My liver certainly got a workout, and it is still suffering. And like my feline companions, I am chubbing up for winter, not ideal for peaking for an endurance event.
But Port Macquarie is not far away, so I can't keep making excuses, basically time to rediscover my good habits and love of training.
Fingers crossed, hopefully IM Australia will have some good news for me on Friday!
Until next week, don't drink anything served out of a plastic 10 litre bucket. Honestly. Don't do it.
love
Ironmaiden
In the meantime, I've been trying to get back into training, but I've fallen off the wagon a little bit so I feel like I am trying to catch back up to the stupid wagon. I spent Saturday traipsing round the town following a green dinosaur, Susan Boyle, God, Jesus, assorted devils, four pirates and a handful of sailors. So that counts as training right? My liver certainly got a workout, and it is still suffering. And like my feline companions, I am chubbing up for winter, not ideal for peaking for an endurance event.
But Port Macquarie is not far away, so I can't keep making excuses, basically time to rediscover my good habits and love of training.
Fingers crossed, hopefully IM Australia will have some good news for me on Friday!
Until next week, don't drink anything served out of a plastic 10 litre bucket. Honestly. Don't do it.
love
Ironmaiden
Friday, March 16, 2012
It's on!
Right! Plans are afoot. IMNZ emailed today - they have some entries to pretty much all the Ironman races between now and the end of June. I just need to chose, get a spot, organise finance, flights, accommodation and logistics, get time off, find a house sitter and train. How hard can that be?
These are my choices:
Ironman South Africa – April 22, 2012;
Ironman St. George – May 5, 2012;
Ironman Australia – May 6, 2012;
Ironman Texas – May 19, 2012;
Ironman Cairns – June 3, 2012;
Ironman Regensburg – June 17, 2012;
Ironman France – June 24, 2012;
Ironman Coeur d’Alene – June 24, 2012;
My heart is telling me Nice (France) or Coeur d'Alene (which is in Idaho), but my head is telling me Australia (Port Macquarie) would be a much less complicated and expensive exercise. Speaking of exercise, I haven't been getting much lately but my coach seems to think it is OK to ease back into it and you know I like to do what I am told.
There are only limited entries to each race so I will be competing with at least 400 frustrated Australians, but fingers crossed, and Idaho or France are not so bad as far as back-up plans go.
So it is a bit more "watch this space", but I promise anticipation is delicious!
Until next week, give way to your right! After next week, all bets are off and don't be on the road at the same time as me.
love
Ironmaiden
These are my choices:
Ironman South Africa – April 22, 2012;
Ironman St. George – May 5, 2012;
Ironman Australia – May 6, 2012;
Ironman Texas – May 19, 2012;
Ironman Cairns – June 3, 2012;
Ironman Regensburg – June 17, 2012;
Ironman France – June 24, 2012;
Ironman Coeur d’Alene – June 24, 2012;
My heart is telling me Nice (France) or Coeur d'Alene (which is in Idaho), but my head is telling me Australia (Port Macquarie) would be a much less complicated and expensive exercise. Speaking of exercise, I haven't been getting much lately but my coach seems to think it is OK to ease back into it and you know I like to do what I am told.
There are only limited entries to each race so I will be competing with at least 400 frustrated Australians, but fingers crossed, and Idaho or France are not so bad as far as back-up plans go.
So it is a bit more "watch this space", but I promise anticipation is delicious!
Until next week, give way to your right! After next week, all bets are off and don't be on the road at the same time as me.
love
Ironmaiden
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Best laid plans and all that...
Well. It is now the 7th of March and I am not an Ironmatron. Or an Ironman. Or an Iron anything really. Ironman New Zealand 2012 was postponed and shortened to a 70.3 distance race. How did I feel after training for a year only to be told I wasn't going to lose my Ironmaidenhood? Freakin excited that's how! Why? Lots of reasons! I didn't have to go out and ride my bike in a raging headwind (we like that), I wouldn't have to worry about my friends and family battling to be volunteers and supporters in what was being billed as "a storm of the likes we have never seen before", and more importantly, because of my lightbulb realisation that Ironmaiden 2012 was still going to happen, she was just going to take the campaign on tour!
In fact, the only real disappointment of the weekend was that The Storm never really got to Taupo - the wind certainly came and in its own right was a show stopper, but I wanted the drama and thrill of The Storm. But a minor detail.
So stay tuned for Ironmaiden to take a whole new direction: Ironmaiden International
But more of that later. There was a race on the weekend. So a 70.3 is a half-iron distance. Having already done one this length I could go in a lot more confident than I would have gone into the full. I think a lot of us pushed too hard, but I lived to tell the tale and even went a few minutes faster than I did in December.
Not without calamities of course. As if I could spend 7+ hours doing anything and not have some calamitous episodes....
So I finished. I was sore! But on a whole a good day. It was great seeing so many people out supporting. And now I have a trip to plan and an Ironman to knock over!
Till next week, go google "serendipity", and you'll understand how I am feeling.
love
Ironmaiden
In fact, the only real disappointment of the weekend was that The Storm never really got to Taupo - the wind certainly came and in its own right was a show stopper, but I wanted the drama and thrill of The Storm. But a minor detail.
So stay tuned for Ironmaiden to take a whole new direction: Ironmaiden International
But more of that later. There was a race on the weekend. So a 70.3 is a half-iron distance. Having already done one this length I could go in a lot more confident than I would have gone into the full. I think a lot of us pushed too hard, but I lived to tell the tale and even went a few minutes faster than I did in December.
Not without calamities of course. As if I could spend 7+ hours doing anything and not have some calamitous episodes....
- On the bike - I was riding along, day dreaming about travelling to France to do an Ironman...and I strayed off course, almost into the grass. I over corrected and then over-over corrected (I really am not good at driving those aerobars) and before I knew it I was sure my wheels were heading off in two different directions. Miraculously I recovered, and then as the relief wore off, I did a quick glance around to check no one saw. Unfortunately, a man cycled up beside me shortly after and said "Wow, you nearly took a tumble back there!" Dammit...I tried to swear him to secrecy, but he wouldn't have a bar of it.
- In the run - the run went pretty well until the last 500 metres or so. I had turned into the main street, right in front of the pub where all the cheerful people were watching the less cheerful runners...only to get cramp in my right hamstring. A massive cramp. A "turn my leg into a jointless wooden post dangling from my hip" cramp. I did a big "Craig Barrett about to collapse at the Olympics stagger" and grabbed the railing. Cue shocked gasp from crowd. I couldn't get the damn leg to work, I clung to the railings, begged a stranger for help, and all I could think was that I wasn't allowed to crawl, bum shuffle, or drag myself to the finish line with my lips! Stupid international Ironman rules! But then I realised, I could walk backwards! I fooled my hamstring into thinking I wouldn't need it anymore! So I walked backwards through the main street of town. Cue smartarsed comments from crowd. I got to the last aid station, gulped back half a cup of Coke, inadvertently splashed coke all over the poor volunteers shoes as I discarded the half empty cup in the wrong place, then turned around and ran! Forwards! Cue delighted applause from crowd.
 |
| Still smiling after 90kms |
 |
| I still got a towel, a t-shirt and a medal. Truth is in the eye of the towel holder right? |
So I finished. I was sore! But on a whole a good day. It was great seeing so many people out supporting. And now I have a trip to plan and an Ironman to knock over!
Till next week, go google "serendipity", and you'll understand how I am feeling.
love
Ironmaiden
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Secure lose objects and check boat moorings...
Well I didn't really think this week's blog would be about something so mundane - the weather - but it is sort of dominating my consciousness at the moment - look at tomorrow's forecast:
It is a real old batten-down-the hatches Storm. "Destructive gales"and heavy rain. Single digit temperatures. Well, I love a challenge! Fortunately I've had all week to get in the right headspace and prepare for wet and wind and cold. What I am now most worried about is that the race will get shortened, or worse, cancelled. I want to be an "Ironman", not a wishy-washy "Ironman less a swim". Duathlon is not what I signed on for. But having said that, it would be a pretty hardcore duathlon. I might not be Ironmatron, but I would still be "Cycled through destructive gales then ran a marathon in pouring rain Matron". It doesn't trip off the tongue quite so sweetly, but it will still be cool!
So regardless of the forecast, and the thinly veiled warnings from the Race Organisers to expect the worst, I am packing my bags and still hoping that tomorrow the Storm will decide to blow right on through and go visit Auckland instead. Or Australia.
Wish me luck, and if you have any weather-god influence, could you put in a good word?
Who knows what next week will bring?
love
Ironmaiden
So regardless of the forecast, and the thinly veiled warnings from the Race Organisers to expect the worst, I am packing my bags and still hoping that tomorrow the Storm will decide to blow right on through and go visit Auckland instead. Or Australia.
Wish me luck, and if you have any weather-god influence, could you put in a good word?
Who knows what next week will bring?
love
Ironmaiden
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Pentultimate Week!
Ironman is next weekend! NEXT WEEKEND!!
To my surprise I am feeling excited! A little bit nervous, but mostly really excited! A friend compared it to waiting for childbirth...exciting even though you know it is going to hurt. I don't have that same basis for comparison but I do at least know that once finished, Ironman won't need bathing, breastfeeding, or having it's nappy changed. Well, hopefully not. If it does, I totally didn't know what I was signing up for.
My training is starting to taper which is a relief, I was getting pretty tired there for a while. I am reviving quite quickly though, so I think I will be fair fizzing by next weekend. I am being a total princess when it comes to any injury or illness risk - I am spending most of my disposable income on different vitamin variants, and am rude to the point of obnoxious to anyone who comes near me with a hint of a disease (except manflu, we all know that isn't a real sickness).
I got my bike safety check done today, now it and my helmet are adorned with fluoro Ironman stickers, so they are committed to the event even if I am not. But I am. Don't worry, I'll be there.
I am swimming across the lake this weekend. It will be my pentultimate event in my IM build up. Hopefully the taniwha will be gentle.
Until next time, general fatigue is no excuse for forgetting your underwear...and not caring.
love
Ironmaiden
To my surprise I am feeling excited! A little bit nervous, but mostly really excited! A friend compared it to waiting for childbirth...exciting even though you know it is going to hurt. I don't have that same basis for comparison but I do at least know that once finished, Ironman won't need bathing, breastfeeding, or having it's nappy changed. Well, hopefully not. If it does, I totally didn't know what I was signing up for.
My training is starting to taper which is a relief, I was getting pretty tired there for a while. I am reviving quite quickly though, so I think I will be fair fizzing by next weekend. I am being a total princess when it comes to any injury or illness risk - I am spending most of my disposable income on different vitamin variants, and am rude to the point of obnoxious to anyone who comes near me with a hint of a disease (except manflu, we all know that isn't a real sickness).
I got my bike safety check done today, now it and my helmet are adorned with fluoro Ironman stickers, so they are committed to the event even if I am not. But I am. Don't worry, I'll be there.
I am swimming across the lake this weekend. It will be my pentultimate event in my IM build up. Hopefully the taniwha will be gentle.
Until next time, general fatigue is no excuse for forgetting your underwear...and not caring.
love
Ironmaiden
Thursday, February 16, 2012
My left foot. And my right foot for that matter.
I think I might be a bit of a mutant. And not in a useful X-Men sort of way. I just think my body is built a bit wrong.
A good example (but not by any means the only example) are my poor feet. Admittedly the last 10 or 11 months have been a little tougher than they are used to, but is this any reason for them to have grown by half a shoe size? Shoes that fit me this time last year are now too short. Seriously, who's feet grow in their thirties? Will they carry on growing forever? Will I be wearing small canoes for slippers by the time I am retirement age?
What's more, after the Kinloch triathlon, my feet looked like this:
Oddly enough, it didn't hurt too much and hopefully will callus up nicely ahead of Ironman. But it really did leave me with a lingering longing to have nice normal straight toes, no odd angles, no hammerheads...but never mind, I'll work with what I've got, even if they are growing and ugly.
I've done a few training miles this last week, rode the full bike course on Saturday (ouch), swam the swim course on Sunday morning, then went for a run ...for the rest of the day. But not long to go now, 16 sleeps (assuming I sleep!).
Until next week, the answer to that ancient dilemma "Do I or don't I pop this blister?" is don't - the progress of unpopped blisters is gross, squidgy and pleasingly fascinating .
love
Ironmaiden
A good example (but not by any means the only example) are my poor feet. Admittedly the last 10 or 11 months have been a little tougher than they are used to, but is this any reason for them to have grown by half a shoe size? Shoes that fit me this time last year are now too short. Seriously, who's feet grow in their thirties? Will they carry on growing forever? Will I be wearing small canoes for slippers by the time I am retirement age?
What's more, after the Kinloch triathlon, my feet looked like this:
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| It ain't pretty... |
Oddly enough, it didn't hurt too much and hopefully will callus up nicely ahead of Ironman. But it really did leave me with a lingering longing to have nice normal straight toes, no odd angles, no hammerheads...but never mind, I'll work with what I've got, even if they are growing and ugly.
I've done a few training miles this last week, rode the full bike course on Saturday (ouch), swam the swim course on Sunday morning, then went for a run ...for the rest of the day. But not long to go now, 16 sleeps (assuming I sleep!).
Until next week, the answer to that ancient dilemma "Do I or don't I pop this blister?" is don't - the progress of unpopped blisters is gross, squidgy and pleasingly fascinating .
love
Ironmaiden
Thursday, February 9, 2012
The answer is 42, but what is the question?
I like to provide solutions, so I can tell you - 42 is my Ironman race number! It's the professionals, two other people, and then me, and then 1497 others! We won't necessarily finish in the same order.
Speaking of professionals, I did my first race against real professionals on Sunday. The Erin Baker - a standard distance triathlon at Kinloch. I did not win. Jo Lawn won. I was a close 59th....
After the Half Iron went so smoothly I guess it was only a matter of time before I had a few race day calamities. My first was arriving at transition (somewhat sleep deprived) to find I had cross threaded the lid of my drink bottle and flooded all my gear with sticky electrolyte fluid. It made the fabric of my running shoes set like cement. It also made me choose to forgo arm warmers and cycling gloves for similar reasons. I regrouped though, found some Vitasport and lake juice to replace the lost fluid, and pressed a kind and energetic 12 year old into delivering the recharged bottle back to my bike.
My swim was OK, longer than it was supposed to be because one of the buoys had dragged it's anchor. Believe it or not, this is not the first time this has happened to me. But I made it through the two lap course, and only got lapped by Cameron Brown and a few of his mates. They proceeded to lap me again on the bike leg. They didn't need to lap me on the run, they'd already finished before I started!
My lovely bike was great on the bike leg, I got up to 60km/hr+ on some of the downhills - it made my cheeks flap like a happy puppy with it's head out the car window.
The run was four laps past my family who were parked on their lawn. They indulged me with a gentle spray of the hose as I cantered (ok, wheezy shuffled) my way by. Although my sister got a little carried away with the adjustable spray head and it was a bit of a waterblast initially! My brother in law also took some video of my running form - it would appear I run like a broken puppet, I just don't seem to have the right amount of joints in my legs (or my arms). I have five or six knees, no ankles and one hip. And 3 elbows. My poor coach, he must despair.
I also somehow forgot to take my bike pants off, so had to do a quick down-trou and illegal discard to my lucky sister halfway through my first lap. Don't worry though, for once there wasn't gratuitous nudity, I checked that I had my running shorts on underneath first.
Until next week, I strongly recommend that if you discover a cockroach on your collar bone, don't flinch and knock it down the front of your togs into your cleavage.
Love
Ironmaiden
Speaking of professionals, I did my first race against real professionals on Sunday. The Erin Baker - a standard distance triathlon at Kinloch. I did not win. Jo Lawn won. I was a close 59th....
After the Half Iron went so smoothly I guess it was only a matter of time before I had a few race day calamities. My first was arriving at transition (somewhat sleep deprived) to find I had cross threaded the lid of my drink bottle and flooded all my gear with sticky electrolyte fluid. It made the fabric of my running shoes set like cement. It also made me choose to forgo arm warmers and cycling gloves for similar reasons. I regrouped though, found some Vitasport and lake juice to replace the lost fluid, and pressed a kind and energetic 12 year old into delivering the recharged bottle back to my bike.
.JPG) |
| Pre-race nerves - all sticky with electrolyte and sleepiness. |
My swim was OK, longer than it was supposed to be because one of the buoys had dragged it's anchor. Believe it or not, this is not the first time this has happened to me. But I made it through the two lap course, and only got lapped by Cameron Brown and a few of his mates. They proceeded to lap me again on the bike leg. They didn't need to lap me on the run, they'd already finished before I started!
 |
| Getting into transition mode...and wondering why the swim felt 200m longer than it should have! |
My lovely bike was great on the bike leg, I got up to 60km/hr+ on some of the downhills - it made my cheeks flap like a happy puppy with it's head out the car window.
 |
| Cornering like a pro - inside pedal up, still smiling... |
The run was four laps past my family who were parked on their lawn. They indulged me with a gentle spray of the hose as I cantered (ok, wheezy shuffled) my way by. Although my sister got a little carried away with the adjustable spray head and it was a bit of a waterblast initially! My brother in law also took some video of my running form - it would appear I run like a broken puppet, I just don't seem to have the right amount of joints in my legs (or my arms). I have five or six knees, no ankles and one hip. And 3 elbows. My poor coach, he must despair.
 |
| Doing the broken puppet shuffle. |
I also somehow forgot to take my bike pants off, so had to do a quick down-trou and illegal discard to my lucky sister halfway through my first lap. Don't worry though, for once there wasn't gratuitous nudity, I checked that I had my running shorts on underneath first.
Until next week, I strongly recommend that if you discover a cockroach on your collar bone, don't flinch and knock it down the front of your togs into your cleavage.
Love
Ironmaiden
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Warning - excessive training may have side effects...
Well, its not like I am training excessively, but perhaps more than I might have in a past life. To be honest, I've always been a bit absent minded, so whether or not this is a real side effect, or just my perception, remains to be seen.
But I started a list to review some of my less sapient moments:
Four and a half weeks to go!
Until next time, don't mix up your anti-chafe gel with your carbohydrate gel - you'll end up with a sore tummy and the worst chafing ever!
love
Ironmaiden
But I started a list to review some of my less sapient moments:
- Twice I've tried to open the security gate at work with my garage door open. It hardly ever even opens my garage so heaven knows why I thought it would get me in the gate. It was only after I had exercised some of my choicer cuss words that I realised the mistake was my own rather than a technological failure.
- I tried to feed my cats frozen veggies, and then put them away in the cupboard. Not even the fridge, let alone the freezer. The long-suffering felines have lived to tell the tale.
- I tried to leave the house without pants. I was halfway through getting dressed and sort of lost track. Fortunately I only made it as far as the Mazda before I finally figured out why I was able to admire my undies in such detail.
- I think we won't mention the clean washing in the spare room/open curtains/getting dressed in a hurry scenario (sorry neighbours, but I am too ashamed to come and meet you. Please sell your house and leave.).
- I tried to unlock my bike with my electronic car key. Funnily enough, it didn't work. My bike has aerobars and lots of carbon fibre, but it doesn't have door locks to make a satisfying clunk when asked.
- I have had too many abortive grocery shopping trips - usually I forget tissues which leaves me mystified as to why I keep washing the sodding things.
- I left my carpool buddy at work. On a Friday afternoon. I still feel so guilty about it. But I have only done it once. That he has mentioned ...
Four and a half weeks to go!
Until next time, don't mix up your anti-chafe gel with your carbohydrate gel - you'll end up with a sore tummy and the worst chafing ever!
love
Ironmaiden
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The secret of my success so far?
People keep commenting on how I am some kind of wonderful, insanely fantastic or fantastically insane...this may come as a shock, but, actually, I'm still completely normal. Utterly normal. Well, my Ironmaiden style of normal at least. This whole training lark, it's been easy. The secret? I have a coach! Someone said to me some time ago, you don't have to worry about a thing, you are paying your coach to do your worrying for you! And it is so true. I don't doubt I've provided my coach with a full quota of worries (sprains, strains, malingering malaise...), but he keeps cooking me up cunning programmes and I just tick it off day after day. See? Easy! Anyone could do it! I don't have to make any decisions, I just do what I am told, so there is no opportunity for that servant of the devil, procrastination, to take hold.
But it got me thinking. Imagine if we could have coaches to help us with other challenges that life throws our way? I could have a housework coach ("Green algae in the shower might be scientifically intriguing, but it is not contributing to your hygiene goals!"), a fashion coach ("Jeans and tee-shirts actually aren't appropriate for every occasion, and what do you mean by "formal jandals"?"), a menagerie management coach ("Another cat? Really?") , perhaps even a laundry coach to stop me washing my clothes with tissues in the pockets! The possibilities are endless. And once my ship comes in and I can be a full time triathlete perhaps I will look at some other types of coaches. But for now, at least having a triathlon coach is a really good start.
Until next week, don't pay someone for advice and then ignore it, that is just dumb!
love
Ironmaiden
But it got me thinking. Imagine if we could have coaches to help us with other challenges that life throws our way? I could have a housework coach ("Green algae in the shower might be scientifically intriguing, but it is not contributing to your hygiene goals!"), a fashion coach ("Jeans and tee-shirts actually aren't appropriate for every occasion, and what do you mean by "formal jandals"?"), a menagerie management coach ("Another cat? Really?") , perhaps even a laundry coach to stop me washing my clothes with tissues in the pockets! The possibilities are endless. And once my ship comes in and I can be a full time triathlete perhaps I will look at some other types of coaches. But for now, at least having a triathlon coach is a really good start.
Until next week, don't pay someone for advice and then ignore it, that is just dumb!
love
Ironmaiden
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Calamity Jane
Well, with a little over six weeks until, all things going according to plan, I will earn my Ironmatron stripes.
I was listening to some of the trials and tribulations of my fellow athletes tonight, and so decided to reflect on some of my own calamities that have been overcome. Let's see:
- I'd barely got started and an old calf muscle injury flared up - more discipline with warming up and stretching required (I bet you didn't even know I had calf muscles...).
- I inadvertently came back from France with a lot of extra gravity acting on me. Stupid gravity.
- I faceplanted in Wellington - my ankle is seems to be OK but I don't think my right knee cap will ever be the same again.
- Wellington A&E gave me a nice cold to go with my sprained ankle.
- Contracted a mystery viral respiratory infection (aka a cold) that knocked me off training (and work) for the better part of September (but then I've always thought September is overrated).
- and most recently had a delicate part of my anatomy poked and stabbed for a biopsy - don't worry, I don't have cancer in the aforementioned delicate area, but it is black and blue and feeling quite sorry for itself...
So actually, on a whole I haven't had too bad a run - touch wood, even if my goal at the start of the campaign was to avoid injury and illness! I am very lucky to have a wonderful physio and a very patient coach!
Until next time, you know I can't grab your ghost chips!
love
Ironmaiden
I was listening to some of the trials and tribulations of my fellow athletes tonight, and so decided to reflect on some of my own calamities that have been overcome. Let's see:
- I'd barely got started and an old calf muscle injury flared up - more discipline with warming up and stretching required (I bet you didn't even know I had calf muscles...).
- I inadvertently came back from France with a lot of extra gravity acting on me. Stupid gravity.
- I faceplanted in Wellington - my ankle is seems to be OK but I don't think my right knee cap will ever be the same again.
- Wellington A&E gave me a nice cold to go with my sprained ankle.
- Contracted a mystery viral respiratory infection (aka a cold) that knocked me off training (and work) for the better part of September (but then I've always thought September is overrated).
- and most recently had a delicate part of my anatomy poked and stabbed for a biopsy - don't worry, I don't have cancer in the aforementioned delicate area, but it is black and blue and feeling quite sorry for itself...
So actually, on a whole I haven't had too bad a run - touch wood, even if my goal at the start of the campaign was to avoid injury and illness! I am very lucky to have a wonderful physio and a very patient coach!
Until next time, you know I can't grab your ghost chips!
love
Ironmaiden
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
And now for something completely different...
Well, now that hasn't happened before.
As I may have mentioned before, I am not really an oil painting when I am out running. The humidity and warmth of the season adds a bit of soggy dishevelment to the general orcish grimacing that adorns my countenance. Given that fact, it was with some surprise that I found a companion running alongside me the other evening. He asked me where Two Mile Bay was (we've just run through it mate), and then proceeded to tell me, in a thick Eastern European accent, that he would finish his workout, have a shower, and then buy me a coffee. Indeed? Given the aforementioned soggy dishevelment/orcish grimace - honestly, what was he thinking? So I politely declined, and then declined again, and then a third time, then shuffled off on my wheezy way.
I am still loving my new bike, it makes me go faster. I admit this may be entirely psychosomatic, but the placebo effect is still an effect!
Not long to go now, and quite frankly, I can't wait- bring it on!
Until next time, give way to your right (for another couple of months at least....)
love
Ironmaiden
As I may have mentioned before, I am not really an oil painting when I am out running. The humidity and warmth of the season adds a bit of soggy dishevelment to the general orcish grimacing that adorns my countenance. Given that fact, it was with some surprise that I found a companion running alongside me the other evening. He asked me where Two Mile Bay was (we've just run through it mate), and then proceeded to tell me, in a thick Eastern European accent, that he would finish his workout, have a shower, and then buy me a coffee. Indeed? Given the aforementioned soggy dishevelment/orcish grimace - honestly, what was he thinking? So I politely declined, and then declined again, and then a third time, then shuffled off on my wheezy way.
I am still loving my new bike, it makes me go faster. I admit this may be entirely psychosomatic, but the placebo effect is still an effect!
Not long to go now, and quite frankly, I can't wait- bring it on!
Until next time, give way to your right (for another couple of months at least....)
love
Ironmaiden
Sunday, January 1, 2012
So what's with spiders?
Hi Everyone
Sorry, it has been a wee while, but don't worry, I haven't been idle. Actually, who am I kidding? I have been gloriously, luxuriously BONE IDLE and I love it! Oh, happy new year and all that. How great is 2012? I'm loving it, naturally. I had a quick summer cold last week and missed a few days training, but I had a swim and a bike ride today so hopefully I've fully recovered, building up to a BIG day training on Saturday.
Now, about these spiders. Is this the year they make their move? I found two large leggy specimens apparently building a fortress underneath a bucket in the boot of the Mazda. And then, to my abject horror (is abject a word or did I just make that up?) one of their cohorts had built a web on my shiny new bike! How RUDE! But wait for it, you know the bone idle bit? I was taking a strategic training break between swimming and cycling (well, I was reading my book in the sun) and a very small and incredibly audacious spider started building its web on me. ON ME! Between my knee and my shoulder to be precise. I am not that idle. The spider was clearly just incredibly opportunistic. I've got two words for you spiders: Chemical Warfare. I've got it, let's see yours...
Anyway, training is so much fun when it isn't punctuated by long spells of work!
Until next time, don't ever underestimate how much I love custard.
love
Ironmaiden
Sorry, it has been a wee while, but don't worry, I haven't been idle. Actually, who am I kidding? I have been gloriously, luxuriously BONE IDLE and I love it! Oh, happy new year and all that. How great is 2012? I'm loving it, naturally. I had a quick summer cold last week and missed a few days training, but I had a swim and a bike ride today so hopefully I've fully recovered, building up to a BIG day training on Saturday.
Now, about these spiders. Is this the year they make their move? I found two large leggy specimens apparently building a fortress underneath a bucket in the boot of the Mazda. And then, to my abject horror (is abject a word or did I just make that up?) one of their cohorts had built a web on my shiny new bike! How RUDE! But wait for it, you know the bone idle bit? I was taking a strategic training break between swimming and cycling (well, I was reading my book in the sun) and a very small and incredibly audacious spider started building its web on me. ON ME! Between my knee and my shoulder to be precise. I am not that idle. The spider was clearly just incredibly opportunistic. I've got two words for you spiders: Chemical Warfare. I've got it, let's see yours...
Anyway, training is so much fun when it isn't punctuated by long spells of work!
Until next time, don't ever underestimate how much I love custard.
love
Ironmaiden
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