Warning - excessive training may have side effects...

Well, its not like I am training excessively, but perhaps more than I might have in a past life.  To be honest, I've always been a bit absent minded, so whether or not this is a real side effect, or just my perception, remains to be seen.
But I started a list to review some of my less sapient moments:

• Twice I've tried to open the security gate at work with my garage door open.  It hardly ever even opens my garage so heaven knows why I thought it would get me in the gate.  It was only after I had exercised some of my choicer cuss words that I realised the mistake was my own rather than a technological failure.
• I tried to feed my cats frozen veggies, and then put them away in the cupboard.  Not even the fridge, let alone the freezer.  The long-suffering felines have lived to tell the tale.
• I tried to leave the house without pants.  I was halfway through getting dressed and sort of lost track.  Fortunately I only made it as far as the Mazda before I finally figured out why I was able to admire my undies in such detail.
• I think we won't mention the clean washing in the spare room/open curtains/getting dressed in a hurry scenario (sorry neighbours, but I am too ashamed to come and meet you.  Please sell your house and leave.).
• I tried to unlock my bike with my electronic car key.  Funnily enough, it didn't work.  My bike has aerobars and lots of carbon fibre, but it doesn't have door locks to make a satisfying clunk when asked.
• I have had too many abortive grocery shopping trips - usually I forget tissues which leaves me mystified as to why I keep washing the sodding things.
• I left my carpool buddy at work.  On a Friday afternoon.  I still feel so guilty about it.  But I have only done it once.  That he has mentioned ...

Otherwise everything is going great,  I've had to discover what it means to train in my sub-threshold zone this week - due to my short attention span (as described above), this involves lots of notes scrawled on my hand or up my arm so that I can remember what I am supposed to be doing!

Four and a half weeks to go!

Until next time, don't mix up your anti-chafe gel with your carbohydrate gel - you'll end up with a sore tummy and the worst chafing ever!

love
Ironmaiden

The secret of my success so far?

People keep commenting on how I am some kind of wonderful, insanely fantastic or fantastically insane...this may come as a shock, but, actually, I'm still completely normal. Utterly normal.  Well, my Ironmaiden style of normal at least.  This whole training lark, it's been easy.  The secret?  I have a coach!  Someone said to me some time ago, you don't have to worry about a thing, you are paying your coach to do your worrying for you!  And it is so true.  I don't doubt I've provided my coach with a full quota of worries (sprains, strains, malingering malaise...), but he keeps cooking me up cunning programmes and I just tick it off day after day.  See?  Easy! Anyone could do it!  I don't have to make any decisions, I just do what I am told, so there is no opportunity for that servant of the devil, procrastination, to take hold.

But it got me thinking.  Imagine if we could have coaches to help us with other challenges that life throws our way?  I could have a housework coach ("Green algae in the shower might be scientifically intriguing, but it is not contributing to your hygiene goals!"), a fashion coach ("Jeans and tee-shirts actually aren't appropriate for every occasion, and what do you mean by "formal jandals"?"), a menagerie management coach ("Another cat?  Really?") , perhaps even a laundry coach to stop me washing my clothes with tissues in the pockets!  The possibilities are endless.  And once my ship comes in and I can be a full time triathlete perhaps I will look at some other types of coaches.  But for now, at least having a triathlon coach is a really good start.

Until next week, don't pay someone for advice and then ignore it, that is just dumb!

love
Ironmaiden

Calamity Jane

Well, with a little over six weeks until, all things going according to plan, I will earn my Ironmatron stripes.

I was listening to some of the trials and tribulations of my fellow athletes tonight, and so decided to reflect on some of my own calamities that have been overcome.  Let's see:
- I'd barely got  started and an old calf muscle injury flared up - more discipline with warming up and stretching required (I bet you didn't even know I had calf muscles...).
- I inadvertently came back from France with a lot of extra gravity acting on me.  Stupid gravity.
- I faceplanted in Wellington - my ankle is seems to be OK but I don't think my right knee cap will ever be the same again.
- Wellington A&E gave me a nice cold to go with my sprained ankle.
- Contracted a mystery viral respiratory infection (aka a cold) that knocked me off training (and work) for the better part of September (but then I've always thought September is overrated).
- and most recently had a delicate part of my anatomy poked and stabbed for a biopsy - don't worry, I don't have cancer in the aforementioned delicate area, but it is black and blue and feeling quite sorry for itself...

So actually, on a whole I haven't had too bad a run - touch wood, even if my goal at the start of the campaign was to avoid injury and illness!  I am very lucky to have a wonderful physio and a very patient coach!

Until next time, you know I can't grab your ghost chips!

love
Ironmaiden

And now for something completely different...

Well, now that hasn't happened before.

As I may have mentioned before, I am not really an oil painting when I am out running. The humidity and warmth of the season adds a bit of soggy dishevelment to the general orcish grimacing that adorns my countenance. Given that fact, it was with some surprise that I found a companion running alongside me the other evening.  He asked me where Two Mile Bay was (we've just run through it mate), and then proceeded to tell me, in a thick Eastern European accent, that he would finish his workout, have a shower, and then buy me a coffee.  Indeed?  Given the aforementioned soggy dishevelment/orcish grimace - honestly, what was he thinking?  So I politely declined,  and then declined again, and then a third time, then shuffled off on my wheezy way.

I am still loving my new bike, it makes me go faster.  I admit this may be entirely psychosomatic, but the placebo effect is still an effect!

Not long to go now, and quite frankly, I can't wait- bring it on!

Until next time,  give way to your right (for another couple of months at least....)

love
Ironmaiden

So what's with spiders?

Hi Everyone

Sorry, it has been a wee while, but don't worry, I haven't been idle.  Actually, who am I kidding?  I have been gloriously, luxuriously BONE IDLE and I love it!   Oh, happy new year and all that.  How great is 2012?  I'm loving it, naturally.   I had a quick summer cold last week and missed a few days training, but I had a swim and a bike ride today so hopefully I've fully recovered, building up to a BIG day training on Saturday. 

Now, about these spiders.  Is this the year they make their move? I found two large leggy specimens apparently building a fortress underneath a bucket in the boot of the Mazda.  And then, to my abject horror (is abject a word or did I just make that up?) one of their cohorts had built a web on my shiny new bike!  How RUDE!  But wait for it, you know the bone idle bit?   I was taking a strategic training break between swimming and cycling (well, I was reading my book in the sun) and a very small and incredibly audacious spider started building its web on me.  ON ME!  Between my knee and my shoulder to be precise.  I am not that idle.  The spider was clearly just incredibly opportunistic.  I've got two words for you spiders:  Chemical Warfare.  I've got it, let's see yours...

Anyway, training is so much fun when it isn't punctuated by long spells of work!

Until next time, don't ever underestimate how much I love custard.

love
Ironmaiden